It’s the long nights, the nights which never see the glimmer of the moon, or the shiver of the stars light. It’s these nights where I lie in a grave of regret. All the moments I wish I could take back come together and cause me to become suppressed and obnoxious. I lie in waiting for when sleep will come but it never does. The memories of past actions make me reconsider my future actions. But its pointless. Those moments are gone and never will I see a moment even similar to it.
It hurts to stay quiet about it as every memory plays back like a trial, proving me guilty. But I lie and wait for the moment for me to overcome this array of misery knowing it will come but not now. I conceal my mind by the wishing I had looked a different way, been somewhere else, said something different, acted differently, or even simply stayed quiet. But I go to sleep, knowing that my mistakes are because of my actions and I may forget but they will never forgive.
Anger, humiliation, sadness, and shock. These have been the product of my hateful behavior, where my intentions aren’t of good will but self-interest. And no matter what my victim do back they can never overcome my unpleasant demeanor.
I can go to sleep but not after having one or two streaks of tears across by cheek. The cold night waits for me to become miserable and vulnerable to its quiet whisper. As I sleep in the tears of my family, friends, mentors, and complete strangers in the cold long nights.
